Divorce is one of those topics that most people find difficult to discuss. Marriage is a commitment to someone else – for better or worse! – and most people are aware of that, so it’s a no-brainer why people in difficult marriages might try to push the idea of divorce out of their heads.
When You Should Start Seriously Considering Divorce
To be sure, divorce isn’t always the answer, especially when therapy or simply talking through your issues with your spouse are still on the table. That said, there are sometimes good indicators that your marriage is practically over, and the notion of divorce should be taken a little more seriously.
1. You & Your Spouse No Longer Communicate or Get Along
Communication is essential to any relationship, but especially a marriage. If you feel distant from your spouse when you attempt to communicate with them, it can be a sign of a serious issue with your relationship.
When spouses are unable or unwilling to clearly talk about their feelings or important issues, it’s a clear sign that there’s a critical communication problem. It’s just as serious when attempts to communicate are met with hostility or lead to a fight, but better communication techniques can help avoid these situations.
2. You No Longer Trust Your Spouse
Trust is just as important as communication in marriage. Without it, there is an inherent conflict in the relationship and almost always a reason to find fault with someone. Trust can be broken and repaired several times over, but if you feel like you can no longer trust your spouse on matters important to you, your marriage, and/or your underlying relationship, then you might want to reevaluate your marriage and your place in it.
3. Your Spouse Won’t Stop a Destructive Behavior
Spouses can engage in a number of behaviors that are hurtful or destructive on emotional, physical, and financial levels. These behaviors can include infidelity, abuse, substance abuse, erratic spending, and others like them.
Some people don’t want to give their spouses a second chance, and that’s valid, but those who give subsequent chances can find themselves trapped in a vicious cycle. If you feel like your spouse is consistently and reliably disregarding you and your concerns for certain behaviors that are destructive to your marriage, it may be time to consider divorce.
4. Your Marriage Lacks Intimacy
Intimacy on an emotional and sexual level is important for most marriages. It’s what helps keep two people bonded over time and feeling a particular closeness to each other. Intimacy can dissipate when one or both spouses no longer engage with each other on emotional or sexual levels, and it can become a serious problem if the lack of intimacy leaves one or both spouses feeling unloved or uncared for.
5. You’re Planning a Way Out
Perhaps the most important way to tell that it’s time to talk about divorce is if you’ve already made plans about how to handle it or what you’ll do after the divorce.
Even if these “plans” are more like daydreams, it’s a sign that you already have one foot out the door for one reason or another. If you don’t think that exploring options to resolve issues in your marriage and get your proverbial foot back indoors, then you might want to call an attorney for help.